Where Are You, God? Experiencing God’s Presence and Absence in Suffering
One of the most difficult aspects of human suffering is the experience of God’s silence. When we walk through deep valleys—physical illness, emotional pain, loss, injustice, isolation—we not only suffer the problem itself but also the disorienting sense that God is nowhere to be found.
It is in these moments of greatest need that we often feel the greatest absence of divine help. We pray, but receive no answer. We seek, but feel no presence. We cry out, but hear only echoes. This silence is not theoretical; it cuts deeply into our souls. Why does God feel absent when we need him most?
When Helplessness Feels Like Abandonment
In seasons of suffering, we often experience a kind of spiritual paralysis. We feel completely helpless—unable to rescue ourselves, unable to change our situation, and unable to help others who are also suffering. No amount of money, influence, friendship, or human wisdom seems capable of resolving what we’re facing.
And when we pray—when we fast, cry, plead, and intercede—we may be met with silence. That silence can feel like rejection, or even worse, abandonment. We say, “Lord, if you know what I’m going through—and if you are able to help me—then why aren’t you doing anything? Where are you?” This is not simply a theological question. It’s a cry from the depths of a soul that feels forgotten, unloved, or even forsaken.
The Desert of Suffering: Feeling Spiritually Alone
When we suffer, we often find ourselves spiritually exiled in a place that feels like a desert. A dry, empty, silent place. The desert is not only symbolic of pain; it is the place where nothing and no one seems to exist not even God. We might describe this experience as being trapped in a spiritual wasteland, where there is no comfort, no community, no relief. No family, no friends, and—most hauntingly—no trace of God.
But here is the paradox: in the spiritual desert, when everything else is stripped away, only one reality remains—God. Even when we do not feel him, he is the one who remains with us. The desert, then, is not empty of God. It is empty of all the distractions that usually hide him: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18).
Why We Don’t Feel God's Presence
If God is present in our suffering, then why don’t we feel him? Why does his presence seem so elusive when our pain is so immediate?
1. Because God’s Presence Is Subtle, Not Sensational
God often chooses to be present not in grand displays, but in quiet nearness. We want fire, thunder, or an angel’s voice. But like Elijah on Mount Horeb, we find that God is not in the wind or the earthquake or the fire—but in the gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:11–13). God’s presence is gentle, humble, and often hidden. It does not overwhelm our senses; it invites us into stillness and trust. The problem is not that God isn’t present, but that we are conditioned to expect him in dramatic ways.
2. Because Suffering Consumes Our Senses
Pain, especially chronic or traumatic suffering, is loud. It drowns out everything else. It dominates the body and the mind. And in that noise, we cannot easily perceive the quiet faithfulness of God. We are often more attuned to what is hurting us than to the one who is sustaining us. This is not a moral failure—it is part of being human in a broken world. But it is also why we must rely on faith, not feeling.
3. Because God Is So Near That We Don’t Recognize Him
This may be the most surprising truth: God is sometimes too near for us to feel him. Just as we do not feel the air that surrounds us—though it sustains our very life—we often do not sense God’s nearness because he is already holding us, surrounding us, and upholding us at every moment.
We mistake this constancy for absence. But in reality, the very fact that we continue to breathe, hope, and seek him in suffering is evidence that he is present. As Acts 17:27–28 reminds us: “He is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.” Sometimes we are waiting for God to show up unaware that he is already here.
4. Because Our Flesh Resists Surrender
We live in bodies weakened by sin. Our fallen nature prefers control, solution, and independence. But suffering confronts us with the reality that we are not in control. It exposes our weakness, and it forces us to confront the truth that we were never meant to live without God.
The pain of suffering often triggers a spiritual resistance within us—a refusal to trust what we cannot feel. We equate absence with abandonment. But God's ways are not our ways. His silence is not rejection—it is invitation.
What If God's Silence Means He Is Near?
Could it be that God's apparent absence is a sign of his deepest nearness? Could it be that the reason we do not feel him is not because he is far, but because he is so close that his presence becomes unbearable in our broken state?
God is not a distant observer. He is Immanuel—God with us. In Christ, he entered our pain, carried our sorrows, and died alone so we would never have to be alone. The cry of Jesus on the cross—"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"—is the divine answer to our own question of abandonment. “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness” (1 Peter 2:24).
The Role of the Holy Spirit in Our Weakness
When we feel too weak to pray—when our words fail—the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groans too deep for words (Rom. 8:26–27). This means that even in our spiritual silence, heaven is not silent. The Spirit is with us in our affliction. He does not remove the suffering, but he joins us in it. He reminds us that we are children of God, even when we feel forgotten.
Trusting God's Presence by Faith, Not Feeling
Just as we are saved by faith in Christ—not by what we feel—we must also believe in God's presence by faith. Even when we feel abandoned, we confess: God is here. Our belief in God's presence is not grounded in how we feel, but in the unchanging word of God. The Bible does not say we will always feel his nearness, but it assures us that he will never leave us (Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5). If you're reading this, it is not because God has forgotten you. It is because he is sustaining you, holding you, and carrying you—even now.
What Can We Do When God Feels Absent?
1. Cry Out Honestly
Like Job, David, and Jesus, you can cry out honestly to God. Lament is not a lack of faith—it is an act of faith.
2. Rest in His Promises
Meditate on God's promises. Read passages like Psalm 23, Isaiah 43, Romans 8, and John 14. Let his word remind you of what is true.
3. Remember Past Faithfulness
Think back to moments in your life when God showed up. Let your history with God become the anchor in your present darkness.
4. Lean Into the Community of Faith
You may feel alone, but you are part of a body. Allow trusted friends or mentors to hold faith for you when yours feels weak.
5. Wait with Expectation
The absence you feel is not the end of the story. God will speak. He will move. His silence is not abandonment—it is invitation.
God Is Present Even When He Feels Absent
Suffering does not mean God is gone. Silence does not mean God is uninterested. The presence of God in suffering is often hidden, but never absent. Your ability to believe, to pray, to keep seeking—even faintly—is the proof that God is holding you. So if you are in the desert today, know this: God is there. Maybe not with thunder. Maybe not with answers. But with himself. And in the end, God's presence is the only thing that truly sustains.
Reflection Questions
1. Have you ever felt God was absent in a time of suffering? What did you do?
2. How does your faith respond when your feelings contradict God's promises?
3. What biblical stories or verses speak most to you in seasons of pain?