Influence or Be Influenced

Life, at its core, is an ongoing exchange of influence. Each day, whether we recognize it or not, we both shape and are shaped by countless forces—by people, circumstances, unspoken expectations, and the deep currents of culture. This reality is so thoroughly woven into our existence that we seldom stop to examine who or what most profoundly forms our inner lives.

Yet Scripture repeatedly calls us to just such discernment. The apostle Paul’s urgent exhortation in Romans 12:2 underscores this need: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This summons cuts to the very heart of our spiritual struggle. Will we be molded by the prevailing spirit of our age, or will we be steadily transformed into the likeness of Christ? In this reflection, I explore how we are acted upon, how we in turn impact others, and why choosing to let God shape us is not only our calling but essential for our spiritual endurance.

Human life is undeniably a network of mutual influence. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we continually affect others and are ourselves affected in return. This dynamic is so foundational that it shapes every relationship, every decision, and every habitual response. People make choices—large and small—and these decisions ripple outward, often in ways that deeply touch those around them. Likewise, through our words, attitudes, and conduct, we can either strengthen and uplift others or inadvertently wound and discourage them. At the same time, we ourselves are shaped by the influence of people and situations—sometimes with full awareness, other times so subtly that we hardly realize it.

When our words and actions are rooted in goodness, love, and truth, they become instruments God can use to strengthen and heal. We may comfort the brokenhearted, encourage the weary, or help someone regain hope simply through a compassionate presence. Likewise, we ourselves are blessed when others share their time, resources, or encouragement with us, enabling us to persevere and keep pursuing the dreams God has planted in our hearts. Yet this power of influence always cuts both ways. Just as we can unknowingly plant seeds of discouragement or negativity in others, we can also find ourselves weighed down by careless or harmful words spoken over us. For this reason, it is crucial to remain vigilant—both in what we extend to others and in what we receive into our own souls.

Another profound arena of influence arises directly through people—through their words, their attitudes, and their subtle signals toward us. A simple kind comment can unexpectedly brighten our spirits and infuse new strength into a tired heart. Conversely, when we are fragile or burdened, even well-meant encouragement can sometimes sound hollow, or worse, feel like quiet sarcasm. Yet in seasons of deep discouragement, genuine words of hope from another can become a sustaining gift that helps us stand under pressures we could not bear alone.

This is why it is so essential to discern whose voices we allow to shape our inner lives. We do have agency here, even when it feels like we do not. Those we trust most—family, close friends, wise members of the church, faithful spiritual mentors—are often the ones whose words we rightly receive. They have earned places of intimacy and credibility. Yet even then, discernment is necessary. A supervisor may offer a valid critique of our work performance, which we should heed with humility. But if that same person seeks to define our ultimate worth or erode our God-given identity, we must guard our hearts with care. They did not create us, and they cannot determine our deepest value. That belongs to God alone.

This returns us to Paul’s piercing exhortation in Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The “patterns of this world” are not limited to blatant moral failings or public scandals. They also include the quiet, pervasive pressures of culture that normalize self-indulgence, endless streams of entertainment, material accumulation, personal branding, and equating human value with productivity or status. They appear in philosophies that elevate radical autonomy over mutual sacrifice, or in trends that gradually erode a reverence for truth. Without deliberate spiritual attentiveness, we inevitably find ourselves shaped by these influences—often without even noticing how deeply they have molded us.

Yet Scripture calls us to walk a radically different path—one that actively resists these worldly currents and instead seeks to be continually reshaped into the likeness of Christ. This is not simply about aspiring to holiness as an abstract virtue. It is God’s gracious way of sustaining us amid a world that constantly tugs us toward its own image. By pursuing a life set apart—marked by humility, compassion, patience, and trust—we develop spiritual fortifications that guard us from being quietly absorbed into society’s molds.

Because we are human, some measure of external pressure from the surrounding world will always press upon us. But God, in his wisdom, has given us a profound safeguard: he calls us to be formed, not after the patterns of this age, but after the perfect image of his Son. This call to sanctification is not a distant or arbitrary divine preference; it is his appointed means by which we endure spiritually. As we strive to live holy lives—lives distinct in affection, perspective, and practice—we cultivate inner resilience against the subtle forces that might otherwise refashion us. Holiness thus becomes both our sacred vocation and our protective shield, a divinely given strategy of spiritual resistance that preserves our true identity as God’s people.

At the same time, this work of transformation is never meant to be a private treasure held for ourselves alone. As we are increasingly conformed to the likeness of Christ, we become living proofs that God truly changes people from within. We serve as quiet but unmistakable markers that point beyond our own stories to the One who alone deserves the deepest allegiance of every heart. In this way, we fulfill a sacred dual purpose: we guard our souls from being molded by a fallen world, and we also help create openings through which others might encounter and be drawn toward God.

We must also remember that we are not merely passive recipients of influence, nor are we meant to force change upon others by sheer human effort. Often, the most profound impact we have comes not through direct persuasion, but by simply living in a way that reminds people of God’s character. Through our steady integrity, gentle words, small kindnesses, and visible trust in Christ even amid our struggles, we act as humble witnesses. We become the sort of people whose lives quietly communicate, “You too can be shaped by God, and his truth can transform you.”

As we grow in spiritual maturity or occupy roles of relational or societal responsibility, we are granted unique chances to encourage and tangibly support others. Even modest acts—listening patiently, offering thoughtful counsel, praying earnestly—can be used by God to lift burdens and turn hearts back toward him. In these ways, our ordinary faithfulness becomes a channel through which God himself exerts holy influence, drawing others not simply to esteem us, but to seek him.

All of this ultimately leads us back to a profound decision we face every single day: Whom will we allow to shape our inner lives? Will we be subtly and steadily formed by the shifting currents of this world—by its ambitions, diversions, fears, and self-centered measures of worth? Or will we, even amid moments of irritation, grief, or deep vulnerability, consciously open our hearts to be shaped by God, who alone secures our truest identity and deepest joy?

This choice is rarely simple. Negative emotions often surge unexpectedly, pulling us into frustration or sorrow before we fully realize it. In such moments, God’s voice can seem distant, nearly drowned out by the noise of our thoughts or the clamor of our circumstances. Sometimes it takes the quiet counsel of a wise friend, the sudden surfacing of Scripture we once hid in our hearts, or even the gentle prompting of the Spirit to remind us that we are not captives of circumstance, nor merely passive products of a culture that seeks to define us. By God’s grace, we truly can choose who most profoundly shapes us.

And as we make that choice—day after day—to let God’s truth and Spirit renew us, we become living testimonies to his reality. Our lives then stretch beyond personal sanctification; they become instruments through which God graciously invites others to experience his unchanging love and truth for themselves. Thus, we stand continually at a spiritual crossroads: either to be quietly absorbed into the patterns of this age, or to be transformed by the renewing work of God’s Spirit. In choosing transformation, we not only safeguard our own souls but also take part in God’s mission to lead others out of darkness and into his marvelous light. This is both our sacred calling and profound privilege—to be so deeply shaped by God that our very lives encourage others to let him shape them too.